SOME LIKE IT HOT

God's Guide To The Hot Parts--the web ministry that fights Hollywood smut with prurient gibberish--has finally posted some licentious new movie reviews. Some people say The Hot Parts Guy has a dirty mind. I don't know. But if you have a dirty mind, here are his latest (I paraphrase:) recommendations. If your hot parts respond to (I quote:)

• camera angle to force viewer on how short a skirt was

• "I don't care what they do to me" attitude

and

• "gay" kiss

you'll want to run at top speed to Racy--er, Racing Stripes! But if you're more likely to be turned on by

• adult male baring his posterior before surprise party guests, including his daughters, and other kids

• open mouth kissing

and

• below navel skin - male, in refrigerator pinup photos

then what are you sitting alone for? Get In Good Company! If your "final frontier" looks more like

• offer of sex (by "Commander Uhura" no less!)

• crotch hit and kick

and

• inappropriate touch of man by woman (also by "Commander Uhura" no less)

beam yourself over to Are We There Yet? at Warp Factor Nine! Finally, if you find satisfaction in

• man and woman making out with display of mounting ecstasy

• adult male showing atypical interest in girl child

and

• taking prescription drugs with alcohol

you're looking for Hide And Seek!

On behalf of perverts, peepers, pill-poppers, Trekkies and spaced-out swingers of all stripe, thank you, Hot Parts Guy, and keep up the sexy work!

One New Yorker... One Year...

...1000 Bars, "My travelogue of a journey through 1000 bars in 1 year." He started January 1. As of yesterday, he's up to 140.
[Via]

I Don't Know What To Say

I never heard of this, and I went to Catholic school. What else didn't they tell us? I don't even know how to talk about it. Just go look.

You don't have to read the whole thing, but scroll down and check out the caption under the picture of Saturn. I won't spoil it, but if you ever touch that planet's rings, just make sure you wash your hands before you handle food.

I'm Your Conqueror, And I Approved This Message

A Marine hangs an election poster in Al Anbar province, Iraq (Reuters).

From Occupation Thwarts Democracy by John Nichols, at The Nation:

Polls suggest that the majority of Iraqis favor the quick withdrawal of US forces...

But...

Under pressure from the Bush Administration, political parties...did not propose timetables for the withdrawal of US troops from their homeland...

So they can't vote on the one issue that affects them the most. Nice election.

"...?!"

Nice gallery: Comix Without Words.

BEER TO THE RESCUE

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Commissioner Gordon Quote Of The Week

"Dire news, Batman! Egghead is back--with a cartonful of crime!"





Episode 47
"An Egg Grows In Gotham"

I Have Got To Be More Careful

I found this site by accident.

DON'T WISH FOR A SANDWICH

Monkey's paw sold on eBay

HOMER
I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and--AND--I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

[the monkey's paw closes its last finger]

[a turkey sandwich materializes]

Hey! Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry...THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY?!!

--Treehouse Of Horror II

Come And Get Me, Coppers

This is the picture two Florida 10 year olds were arrested for drawing.