Murphy The Money Mick Was Supposed To Tell The Story, But He Got Drunk

Read it here [eBay link]. Next issue: Sandy The Saving Scot teams up with Isaac The Investing Israeli!

Thanks to Bubba G. Russo.

'Worst Person In The World?' She'd Like Us To Think So

A rodeo clown's job is to distract the bull while the dismounted cowboy runs to safety. If Bush is the cowboy he claims to be, then we're the bull, and Ann Coulter is his gaudiest clown. Along with nearly everyone else, I'm pissed at her for using the bad f-word, but it feels like a trap; at least twice a year, Coulter feasts on mass outrage and shits victory. And we never stop feeding her. When she mocks 9/11 widows, threatens Muslims and winds the country up with slurs, it's so easy to scorn her that it might not even count as an act of citizenship. And that's how she draws us in every time: by being no challenge to think about. She jokes about bombing a civilian, torturing an innocent, starving an urchin; we stomp and snort in her direction. Off on the sidelines, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales exhale in relief, then share a wink with the world's most famous clown.

I Hope That's His Arm

They used the most disgusting interior image for the cover of the highly recommended, perfectly awful The Brave and the Bold - The Batman Team-Ups, Vol. 1. Don't expect too many similarly queasy thrills inside, but it does have my favorite Batman thought balloon ever:

Say, I forgot--it IS my birthday! Just hope nobody notices it's also Bruce Wayne's--!

I think that means someone once asked Batman his birthday and he answered, "February ninetee--SHIT!! God damn it!!" And he never stopped worrying about it.

If You Thought 'Paradise Lost' Was Big Before...

“This could be like ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ or bigger,” [producer Vincent Newman] said. Daniel Craig and Heath Ledger are two of his top choices for Lucifer.

Paradise Lost: The Movie
The New York Times


Dore 'Paradise' pix

Some Saturday Night

I watched an unbearably shitty movie with a so-called friend.

Americo-Australianian Relations Are At An All-Time High

Male Anatomy Time

Scrotal Art Gallery (NSFW, via MetaFilter),

What Bush said he would do to bin Laden's ass (thanks to Blind Robin).

Who Said It?

"I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me."

A) Condoleezza Rice, during a surprise visit to Baghdad.

B) Britney Spears, when a salon employee asked about her newly shaved head.

C) Anna Nicole Smith's baby, uttering her first words.

Answer here.

Writer Discusses Work In Bid To Increase Sales

WHY I LIKE THE SNOW

by Stuart G. Moore
39th Grade

Growing up, I always hated dealing with snow. But in New York City, it's great. Here's why:

• If you commute in to an office job -- from upstate, New Jersey, or Connecticut -- you have an excuse to stay home, goof off, and/or spend time with your kids.

• If you're younger and work for the people described above, you probably live in Brooklyn or Queens and can make it to work via subway. Then you get to feel superior to your boss, who's too weak to brave the weather; and you get to (a) screw around a little and (b) actually get work done for once. All you have to do is make sure you're sober enough to not slur your words when your boss calls in to "see if there's anything I need to do."

• And if you're a freelancer, like me, you get to just sit on your ass and watch it fall.

--

Extra credit (no spel chek)
WHY I HATE THE SNOW

YOU HAVE TO SHOVL IT AN IT HURTS YOR MIDL AGE BACK BUT ONLY A LITL