So Long, Piggy

"I foresee that man will resign himself each day to new abominations, that soon only soldiers and bandits will be left."

-Borges, "The Garden of Forking Paths"

It's All About Me

Thanks for the GIANT ROBOT WARRIORS plug below, SuperFrankenstein. To show my overwhelming gratitude, I've started my own blog. It's called Pensive Mischief, and it's designed to serve as a guide to my work both as writer and editor...but there will be much commentary, news, and previews as well.

I'm not abandoning the Beer and the Meat, though. I'll still be here as infrequently and incoherently as ever. In fact...could there be a TEAM-UP in the works? We're huddling in the offices RIGHT NOW, True Bereaver. Start saving your virtual shekels now!

Robots Go Boing Boing

The great and powerful Boing Boing today praises Stuart's comic, Giant Robot Warriors, as "a masterful comic allegory for world's military build-up and stand-offs." Which it is!

Simpsons Movie: The Hot Parts

God's Guide To The Hot Parts--the fundamentalist web ministry that fights movie smut by describing it in arousing detail--reviewed The Simpsons Movie!

I have nothing good to say about any of the parts that just might have a positive statement (as most films do) because, however few they are, positive elements are so deeply embedded in animated manure they are nearly invisible. The immoral screaming of this film drowns out the gossamer whispers of good. The caliber of this film could also be compared to filling a theater auditorium with manure two inches deep then sprinkling a drop or two of perfume in three of four places. While sitting in your chair are you going to be able to smell the perfume? Even if you are sitting next to where the perfume landed?

Jesus, Hot Parts Guy! I got your point two sentences ago! Now get to the hot parts! (There may be spoilers, but you've seen it already.)

Wanton Violence/Crime (W)
# action violence, repeatedly
# three drowning deaths
# baby-killing video game
# eye impalement injury
# choking child
# slapstick violence, repeatedly
# bully assault
# stupidity with a firearm
# crushing/squashing death
# four gunfire injuries
# brutality
# arrow impalement
# theft
# implication leading to false arrest
# hanging staging
# father choking son
# firearm to control, repeatedly
# animal attack
# physical assault with joy in revenge
# death by crushing

Impudence/Hate (I)
# seven uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary, twice by an adolescent
# child firing pellet gun at father
# father daring son to skateboard nude
# tattoo
# mob mentality
# at the daughter's anger the mother said "You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever"
# adolescent insult of father, repeatedly
# son calling father by first name, twice
# father calling the daughter an accident

Sexual Immorality (S)
# posterior cleavage
# crotch hit
# child nudity, frequent, including full frontal anatomically correct nudity
# homosexual kiss
# adults in underwear
# implied intercourse
# anatomical reference
# female pointing the direction to go by swinging her breasts
# self-touching

Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# "Binge responsibly"
# smoking, repeatedly
# adolescent drinking
# adolescent drunkenness
# adolescent alcoholism
# comment re: drinking is okay
# adolescent intoxication collapse
# drugging to control, including a child
# smoking drugs

Offense to God (O)
# one use of God's name in vain with the four letter expletive and ten without, once by an adolescent
# blasphemy
# "this book [the Bible] doesn't have any answers"
# contempt for God, faith and the Scriptures throughout
# "We told you so" on a church marquis

Murder/Suicide (M)
# impalement murder
# video game murder by gunfire
# robot committing suicide by gunfire

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rub one out.

"Why Does Everything I Whip Leave Me?"

270+ Deadspin commenters share their favorite Simpsons lines.

Westerns Can Predict The Future

I'm reading Blood On The Trail by Max Brand, first published in 1957, and one of the villains is named Bush Reagan.

Comic-Con San Diego 2007

This looks like the one that might finish us all off. Here's where I'll be:

Thursday, July 26th
1:00 - 2:00: Marvel Comics, signing NEW AVENGERS/TRANSFORMERS and showing off new projects. Booth #2429.
5:00 - 6:00: Fox Atomic, showing off previews of THE NIGHTMARE FACTORY. Booth #4429.

Friday, July 27th
11:00 - 12:00: Tokyopop, signing EARTHLIGHT volumes 1 & 2 and showing off previews of #3. Booth #3529.
3:30 - 4:30: Tokyopop panel: Comics Vs. Manga. Booth #3529.

Saturday, July 28th
4:00 - 6:00: Group signing for the new anthology POSTCARDS at the Comic Relief booth, #1514.

And various other times: Virgin Comics, talking about the new Virgin/SciFi imprint I'm editing. Booth #1803.

Come on out and support your hard-working local comics creator. Bring oxygen and Doritos Experimental Flavor X-13D!

My Neighborhood Is Empty

Wife's theory: "Everyone's home reading."

This Is Great

Questions For The Candidates, by Hart Seely, at Slate.

Quote

"I put bomb in squirrel's briefcase and who gets blown up? Me!"
-- Boris Badenov