Saturday, February 24, 2007

Monday, February 19, 2007

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Who Said It?

"I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me."

A) Condoleezza Rice, during a surprise visit to Baghdad.

B) Britney Spears, when a salon employee asked about her newly shaved head.

C) Anna Nicole Smith's baby, uttering her first words.

Answer here.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

WHY I LIKE THE SNOW

by Stuart G. Moore
39th Grade

Growing up, I always hated dealing with snow. But in New York City, it's great. Here's why:

• If you commute in to an office job -- from upstate, New Jersey, or Connecticut -- you have an excuse to stay home, goof off, and/or spend time with your kids.

• If you're younger and work for the people described above, you probably live in Brooklyn or Queens and can make it to work via subway. Then you get to feel superior to your boss, who's too weak to brave the weather; and you get to (a) screw around a little and (b) actually get work done for once. All you have to do is make sure you're sober enough to not slur your words when your boss calls in to "see if there's anything I need to do."

• And if you're a freelancer, like me, you get to just sit on your ass and watch it fall.

--

Extra credit (no spel chek)
WHY I HATE THE SNOW

YOU HAVE TO SHOVL IT AN IT HURTS YOR MIDL AGE BACK BUT ONLY A LITL

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

By Request

scooter
You're welcome, Ed.

[From the Swing With Scooter Cover Gallery at comics.org]

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Kill The Aliens!

iPinglotWhoYou2Hyperdave's blog Datajunkie is always a good stop, but right now it's crammed to the nose hairs with exceptional stuff to look at: midcentury science fiction illustration from Wally Wood (above) and Virgil Finlay; exploitation paperback covers from the '70s; Bernie Wrightson comics; and more. Nice, Hyperdave!

Friday, February 09, 2007

"24" setting bad example for military?

“Only a psychopath can torture and be unaffected. You don’t want people like that in your organization. They are untrustworthy, and tend to have grotesque other problems.”

Whatever it takes: The politics of the man behind 24

So here's my question: What about the psychological stability of people who take their behavioral cues from a TV show in the first place?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Breakthrough In Prayerbotic Faithtronics

A website run by a Tel Aviv company called Pray Over IP sells phone cards that allow Christian and Jewish customers to record prayers and have them broadcast through speakers over Webcams at holy sites.
New Technology Allows Broadcasting Prayers to Holy Sites
Journal Chretien

Alphabetical Directory Of The Diaper-Wearing Professions

• Astronauts
• Supreme Court Justices

End of directory.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Kids Today Have It Soft

Back in the olden days, readers of children's books had to make do with Maurice Sendak and Dr. Seuss––losers who weren't famous for anything but children's books. But today? Celebrities to the rescue!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Rage On Behalf Of The Machine


First lady Laura Bush (L), U.S. President George W. Bush (2nd L) and Representative Emanuel Cleaver (R-MO) sing along with Dr. Francis Collins (R) at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington February 1, 2007

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Asshole Of The Year Announced

Who won? Who the fuck do you think?

Times To Freedom: Drop Dead

The Seattle Times decided to publish today, which was embarrassing because they ran an editorial against freedom of the press.

You know what?

You know WHAT?

pluto

FUCK Pluto.

If that scrawny-ass little celestial bitch wants to be a planet, let him bulk up a little. There he is all tiny and squeaky and shit, whining, “I’m a planet! I’m a planet!” And we’re supposed to feel all sorry for the little shorty ‘cause he used to be a planet and now he’s just some string of bullshit numbers or something. Say what?

You want to be a planet, homes? PUT ON SOME WEIGHT. You sitting there acting all entitled and shit, while decent, hard-working Americans put in the effort every day to pack on the pounds. Say what you will about us as a people, we ain’t shy when it comes to the Fritos. And you can’t even be bothered. You just wanna stay all skinny and little and STILL you wanna be a planet.

Fuck you, Pluto. You know what’s good for you, you’ll stay on the schoolyard with the asteroids and the moons and the little baby comets.

And Uranus: You’re next, motherfucker.