MSM Gets Wise

The Seattle Times decided to publish today, which is excellent because they interviewed me.

Well, They Got Me

"Customers"? Or just me?

"Nine Other Oaths Karl Rove Could Swear"

It's time for common sense. Instead of letting the lawyers argue forever, let's hammer out a compromise oath that Karl Rove and Harriet Miers could swear to Congress.

By Hart Seely, at Slate.

UPDATE: Seely's everywhere--including today's New York Times, in which he uses superstition -- or, as he calls it, "science" -- to help the Yankees win ballgames.

American Culture Hits Its Lowest Point Ever

The outrageousness of John Layman's despicable new comic is evident to any decent person. But Layman and a publisher believe they can make money on the project, so it's on.

In ancient Rome, the society collapsed when Romans basically said no boundaries, any brutality is acceptable. We have almost reached that point in America.

So here's what I'm going to do as a citizen. I'm not going to read or even look at the comic. I'm not even going to look at it. If any company advertises in it, I will not buy anything that company sells — ever.

If every American walked away from the Layman garbage, it wouldn't happen. If every American demanded a full exposition of his activities, he would be forced to stop.

So it's on us. What kind of a country do we want? Remember that question if you are tempted to read the Layman comic.

One's Too Many And A Hundred Ain't Enough

The Dr. Phil of prayer.

The Dr. Phil of American politics.

The Dr. Phil of tourism.

The Dr. Phil of weight loss.

The Dr. Phil of the paranormal.

The Dr. Phil for dogs.

The Dr. Phil of technology.

The Dr. Phil of corporate performance.

The Dr. Phil of astrology.

The Dr. Phil of project management.

The Dr. Phil of script analysts.

The Dr. Phil of the Data Center.

The Dr. Phil of decorating and cooking demonstrations.

The Dr. Phil of parenting.

The Dr. Phil of mystics.

Happy Anniversary

The Onion reposts some old stories under the banner, "The War In Iraq: Celebrating Four Years of Winning." A few of the best ones:

Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy: 'We'll Go Through Iran'

US Continues Proud Tradition Of Diversity On Front Lines

Gen. Tommy Franks Quits Army To Pursue Solo Bombing Projects

New Bomb Capable Of Creating 1,500 New Terrorists In Single Blast

Face Rear!

Here's the first bunch of chapters for 'Submission Agenda', an adolescent power fantasy featuring the characters of Marvel Comics, non-consensual and consensual sex, oral, anal, mind control, some bondage, elements of transformation and an amount of incest too.

Ghaaah. [Via a six-year old thread on Something Awful.]

Big Baby

I'm More Popular Than Jesus

Does it suck or does it rock? Sucks-rocks.com settles the question by running search terms through Google and Yahoo to match them with certain positive and negative phrases. ("X sucks, X is lame, X is crap, I hate X... X is sweet, X is awesome, I love X.") A score of 8.2, say, means the term you entered rocks 82% and sucks 18%. The results are clearly scientific:


The news isn't all so inspirational, though. It looks like someone is getting away with murder.

Go play. Click where it says "link to this" under your result, then share it with us in the comments.

[Via Metafilter].

Gorilla Surgery

In memory of Arnold Drake, Matt Fraction presents two galleries of amusingly context-free Doom Patrol panels, here and here.

Arnold Drake, 1924-2007

Arnold Drake, one of the best writers ever to work in comics, died yesterday at the age of 83. I'll always remember him for the sublime Doom Patrol, and for this exchange from the first Deadman story:



For more on Mr. Drake and further links, click over to Heidi MacDonald's blog. She also posted, in a separate entry, DC Comics' obituary.

Here the covers to a just few of the many comics--and kinds of comics--he wrote:












Covers: The Grand Comic Book Database

Now that Captain America is dead...

…I can admit that I loved CIVIL WAR, Marvel Comics’ recent crossover series. Perfect synthesis of Mark Millar’s work on WANTED and ULTIMATES with the regular Marvel Universe; great art by Steve McNiven; and a plot that holds together beautifully, with lots of twists and turns.

(Disclaimer: I’m working on a few different Marvel projects right now. But I’m fully capable of keeping my mouth shut about projects I don’t like.)

The ending of CIVIL WAR actually shocked me. You can’t read it without irony; it’s the absolute triumph of one, extreme point of view. Not what I expected at all, and much more powerful than the two sides shaking hands and deciding to work things out.

The comics internet, of course, hates CIVIL WAR with a passion. Here are some random replies to their objections:

• Turning “Speedball” into “Penance” does not equal the decline of Western civilization. It’s just Speedball.

• If you think the book is crap, it sounds weird to also complain about it being late. (Retailers excepted.) That’s like the old joke about bad food and small portions.

• Reed and Sue Richards have split up before, in stupider stories than this. Mommy and Daddy will get back together eventually.

• Yes, if you really sit down and think about it, “Clone Thor” is kind of a silly idea. So is “Thor.”

Another Close Call For Cheney

The Vice President was only 204 miles away, in Washington DC, when a sniper assassinated Captain America.

Murphy The Money Mick Was Supposed To Tell The Story, But He Got Drunk

Read it here [eBay link]. Next issue: Sandy The Saving Scot teams up with Isaac The Investing Israeli!

Thanks to Bubba G. Russo.

'Worst Person In The World?' She'd Like Us To Think So

A rodeo clown's job is to distract the bull while the dismounted cowboy runs to safety. If Bush is the cowboy he claims to be, then we're the bull, and Ann Coulter is his gaudiest clown. Along with nearly everyone else, I'm pissed at her for using the bad f-word, but it feels like a trap; at least twice a year, Coulter feasts on mass outrage and shits victory. And we never stop feeding her. When she mocks 9/11 widows, threatens Muslims and winds the country up with slurs, it's so easy to scorn her that it might not even count as an act of citizenship. And that's how she draws us in every time: by being no challenge to think about. She jokes about bombing a civilian, torturing an innocent, starving an urchin; we stomp and snort in her direction. Off on the sidelines, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales exhale in relief, then share a wink with the world's most famous clown.

I Hope That's His Arm

They used the most disgusting interior image for the cover of the highly recommended, perfectly awful The Brave and the Bold - The Batman Team-Ups, Vol. 1. Don't expect too many similarly queasy thrills inside, but it does have my favorite Batman thought balloon ever:

Say, I forgot--it IS my birthday! Just hope nobody notices it's also Bruce Wayne's--!

I think that means someone once asked Batman his birthday and he answered, "February ninetee--SHIT!! God damn it!!" And he never stopped worrying about it.

If You Thought 'Paradise Lost' Was Big Before...

“This could be like ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ or bigger,” [producer Vincent Newman] said. Daniel Craig and Heath Ledger are two of his top choices for Lucifer.

Paradise Lost: The Movie
The New York Times


Dore 'Paradise' pix

Some Saturday Night

I watched an unbearably shitty movie with a so-called friend.