Saturday, April 29, 2006

Photo: Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Bush And A Puppy


Living With War

Neil Young's new anti-war album streamed in its entirety here for a week, starting today. [Via Metafilter]

Republican Lawmakers Don't Pay For Sex

Lobbyists pick up the tab. The scandal is heating up, thanks to the communists at The Wall Street Journal. Summary at Daily Kos.

Abbott & Costello In The White House

Jersey Shore writes it up.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Why Are The Yankees Like The Bush Administration?

Answer here.

At The Pornoplex

American Creamz
Thank You For Poking
The Shagging Dog
Inside Man
United 69

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays Walked 14 Yankees Last Night...

...and held them to two runs, and won.

Yes, I preach that we shouldn't judge the Yankees in April, but this is an immortal suckomplishment.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

O'Reilly: "Syr-Accuse!"


From last night's O'Reilly Factor:
The man on the left passed away in 2002.

Here's the Post Standard editorial that pissed The Falafelophile off. (Thanks, redlami.)

"I was smeared not once, but twice." The second smear.

They watch FOX so we don't have to.

Monday, April 24, 2006

10 Worst Corporations

The annual list here. Two to get you started:

BP: In March, 15 workers were incinerated, and more than 170 injured, following an explosion at BP's sprawling refinery in Texas City, Texas. It was the third fatal accident at the Texas City BP facility in the last four years. Nationwide, BP's facilities have had more than 3,565 accidents since 1990, ranking first in the nation, according to a 2004 report by the Texas Public Interest Research Group (TexPIRG).
Halliburton: The company has effectively made a business model of crooked dealing with the U.S. government. Getting caught, over and over, doesn't seem to affect things much. In February, the U.S. Army agreed to pay Halliburton's KBR subsidiary nearly $2 billion for work that nobody can prove ever took place. In March, the company revealed that the U.S. Justice Department opened a criminal inquiry into possible bid-rigging on foreign contracts by Halliburton. In June, at a Congressional hearing, Bunnatine H. Greenhouse, then the senior contracting specialist with the Army Corps of Engineers, testified, "I can unequivocally state that the abuse related to contracts awarded to KBR [Halliburton's subsidiary] represents the most blatant and improper contract abuse I have witnessed during the course of my professional career." And the list of abuses goes on and on...

Quote Of The Week

They're sitting there oppressed—they can't vote, can't do anything! And then they go, 'What the fuck?! This is the world! Why I can't I go out there?' And then they pull their burkas back and they've got blonde hair!
David Hasselhoff on what happens when women in Iran get to see Baywatch. (I recommend the whole out-of-control interview.)


Friday, April 21, 2006

Creature Feature

thecreatureIf I were in Syracuse, I'd go to this:

What: Three Legs Limited presents : "Revival" a one night art and music event featuring new and previously shown art by Elliott Mattice.

Where: Clark's Ale House mezzanine, 122 W. Jefferson Street, Landmark Block, downtown Syracuse

When: Saturday, April 22, 2006 noon til midnight. show up after dark for best effect.Free admission.

Artist Elliott Mattice shows previously unseen work, along with various paintings included in the show are images recently licensed by California's Vintagearthouse for sale to the public as reproduction prints.

Mattice shows his pop meets retro paintings, that utilize hot rod, pinup, pulp influence, vintage cartoon and sideshow imagery. His work was shown in Museum Of Design Atlanta's "Graphic Noise" show last July and was included in the book "Art Of Modern Rock" by Paul Grushkin. He has done work for actress Mamie VanDoren, Marky Ramone,local faves Dinosaur BBQ, the new mural at Doug's Fish Fry in Skaneateles as well as many other clients worldwide.

(for more info on the artist go to}

The night includes drink specials, live music, giveaways and surprises.


Thursday, April 20, 2006

O'Reilly: "Boycott The Syracuse Post-Dispatch!"

el duque writes:

Did you know that O'Reilly has called for a boycott of the "leftist" Syracuse Post-Standard? He's mentioned it twice this week, and it's on his web page. It stems from a humorous reference on last Saturday's week-in-review about his sexual harassment settlement.
A check of O'Reilly's website backs duque up; The Falafelophile is so mad at the Post-Standard he can't even remember its name!

UPDATE: The Falafelophile--or his agents--corrected his website; it now refers to The Post-Standard. This is how his media blacklist looked before the correction:


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Beware Of Comics

"Product placement has become commonplace in movies and TV shows. Now it's coming to comic books -- in part because the industry's two giants, DC and Marvel, are promoting some of their titles as places to reach one of Madison Avenue's most elusive audiences: guys in their 20s," reports Brian Steinberg. DC Comics' new miniseries, called "Rush City," will have "visible promotional support from General Motors Corp.'s Pontiac." The series' hero will drive a Pontiac Solstice. Marvel Entertainment "has begun putting the 'swoosh' logo from Nike Inc. in the scenes of some of its titles, such as 'New X-Men'..."
Source: Wall Street Journal, April 18, 2006
More at Spin Of The Day
Hat tip to Bad Dan

The Gatorade Conspiracy

Give this 60 seconds and walk away convinced. [Via Slog]

If This Is Really In My Neighborhood, As Reports Say...

...There goes my whole ghost impersonation racket.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Touching Children's Lives


Cathedral Of Blood

Vice President Cheney sniffs a minister after his annual Easter transfusion of the Blood of Christ.


I finally figured out the secret true identity of spysmasher, the Cheney-loving, Peyer-hating troll who leaves eight comments a day. Turns out it's my psycho ex-girlfriend April K________, who moved to Central Wisconsin after I broke up with her in the early 80s. I always imagined that April had gotten on with her life and found some measure of peace. Boy, when I'm wrong...


Bill Regensburger writes:
Don Deschamps has put together a small collection of rarely exhibited drawings and paintings by Jeff Davies, some dating back to the early 80's.

The opening will be at The Resonance Center, 94 Genesee St., Utica, N.Y. on April 21, from 5- 9 pm. (315)734-1905

The showing will run for 2 weeks thereafter, on Thurs.& Fri. 5- 9, Sat. 1- 9, and Sun. 1- 6.
I wish I could be there.


Drawings of Super-Heroes On The Toilet, via Delenda Est Carthago.


Finally, and most importantly: last week birthday girl Kelly discovered Tupperware® in a big way.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Inside The White House


President Bush uses anti-depressant medication, a lot of it, at a stupendous dosage, and he is hiding it from the American public. This is the real reason he stopped drinking. Because of the dosage, he is also impotent.
Someone claiming to be a White House insider has posted a treasury of utterly believable secret gossip at Something Awful. Brief excerpts:
Donald Rumsfeld needs to wear iced underwear because of some medical condition, and he has his secret service detail hold his spares. He was recently getting uncontrollable long-term erections and had to change up his medical treatments. The underwear and the erections is why he uses a standing desk, not because he is some super-man.
Dick Cheney has chronic gum problems and his breath smells like shit as a result. He is also a CLOSE TALKER. He keeps a small bottle of diluted hydrogen peroxide which he rinses with every hour on the hour, and he swallows it instead of spitting. He also picks his nose vigorously (violently) and hums loudly and tunelessly to himself while taking shits.
Everyone loves how Condi smells and we do anything we can to sniff her while she isn't looking. If I knew what perfume she wears, I would simply soak a sock in it and writhe in orgasmic excstacy without having to stalk her everywhere she goes. After she shook hands with Putin, he sniffed his hand again and again. Her aroma is heavenly and legendary throughout the world.
Rumsfeld wanted to implant all of the lower level staff with radio chips. This did not go over so well.
I've got nothing on Laura.
Summary at Daily Kos

Via Metafilter

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Chris & Gwynnie Join 'Nuclear Club'

chris_gwynnieGwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have successfully enriched uranium for the first time, a landmark in their quest to develop nuclear fuel.

The Shakespeare In Love actress insisted, however, that the couple does not aim to develop nuclear weapons.

The enriched uranium is called Moses, after a song Coldplay crooner Chris wrote for Gwynnie in 2003. It contains the lyric: "Like Moses has power over sea, so you've got power over me."

In a nationally televised speech, Chris's dad Anthony told an audience of top military commanders and clerics, "She and Chris both think Moses is a beautiful name laden with meaning and, although neither of them are particularly religious, the song has a real significance for them."

The crowd broke into cheers of "God is great!" Some stood and thrust their fists in the air.

The elder Martin called on the West "not to cause an everlasting hatred in our hearts" by trying to force his family to abandon uranium enrichment.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan denounced the latest comments, saying they "continue to show that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are moving in the wrong direction."

Take Me Out To The Secret Location


Vice President Dick Cheney throws out the ceremonial first pitch for the home opener between the [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] at [REDACTED], [REDACTED]day, April [REDACTED], 2006, in [REDACTED]. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Monday, April 10, 2006

One Of Us


Comic books are displayed at U.S. President George W. Bush 's bedroom in his restored childhood home in Midland, Texas, April 10, 2006. First Lady Laura Bush and former U.S. President George H. W. Bush and Barbara Bush will officially dedicate the facility April 11. Bush lived in the house from 1952-1955. REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell

"When I Hug Myself Like This, I Feel Popular Enough To Bomb Iran."


Saturday, April 08, 2006

Smart Teams Suck In April


And get it out of the way.

Friday, April 07, 2006

FEEL-GOOD STORY POLL RESULTS: Bush's Slide Into Disgrace Makes You Nearly As Happy As Two Cheney Shootings Or Four Dead Slobos


Is It Wrong To Gloat?

But it feels so right. [Via Americablog]

The Shingle Life

Shingles are clearing up. Thanks for all of the get well messages from NOT A SINGLE GOD DAMNED SUPERFRANKENSTEIN VISITOR. Clearly, the steroids are pissing me off about everything, just as the doctor warned. I only hope to God I run into one of you before they wear off.

And don't embarrass us both by feigning concern now. It's too late.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

NYY 15 OAK 2

Comics legend Bad Dan Raspler is crashing at the SUPERFRANKENPAD post-convention. Between his constant demands and--I'm not kidding--a case of SHINGLES on my HEAD, for which I'm taking two rage-inducing STEROIDS, I don't have time to get you guys fighting in the comments today. But if I come back tomorrow and find that you've carried on without me, it will be the proudest day of my life!

Monday, April 03, 2006