Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tony Robbins And The Power To Change

realrobbins Clearly, we're now Beer and Meat; inspiration Stuart's. Plus, Superfrankenstein and the Monster Force takes too long to type. Plus, this isn't the 80s, and we're not on TBS.

We have a new member, Lauren from Boston, one of my longest-running and most patient friends. She's never written comics, but she knows her Kitty Pryde from her Ororo. Plus, she's as unreasonable an extremist as anyone who's ever blogged here. Sadly for Lauren, she'll fit right in. Please welcome her.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Belated Recognition Of Genius

Just Imagine... Stan Lee Created Jack Chick Comics at Your Mom's Basement!


My Life, and Frank Castle's


My barber, Damien, never talks to me. Today he said, in his thick Italian accent:

"How old you?"

"Forty-four," I said.

"How long you been coming here?"

"Since it was Sal's. More than twenty years."

Then he pointed out my first strands of gray hair. "Can you fix that?" I asked.

He laughed. "Impossibile."


Buy THE PUNISHER X-MAS SPECIAL, by me and CP Smith, on sale today.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Comic Book Characters With Porn Names

Peter Cannon
Steve Rogers
Oliver Queen

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A Thanksgiving Prayer
By William S. Burroughs

Text. Audio (mp3). Video (via Wonkette):

Highbrow Mag Faces Front!

stanleeSmilin' Stan Lee tied Bill Cosby for #26 0n the Atlantic magazine's list of the Most Influential Living Americans. Most of the list is behind a paid firewall, so I wasn't able to see where I ranked.


Bush daughter robbed
Secret Service agent beaten, robbed

White House official beaten, robbed
Police hurt in Bush motorcade

Crowd jeers elder Bush

More news as it comes in...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

How to Lose All Faith in Your Fellow Man

In two easy steps:

Watch the video of Michael Richards losing it.

Then watch the video of the guy being tasered in the UCLA library.

You'll never go outside again.

Monday, November 20, 2006

It's A Wonderful Presidency

By Frank Cammuso and Hart Seely, at Slate.

GEORGE: If it wasn't for me, everybody would be better off! Laura, Don Rumsfeld, Tony Blair—they'd all be happier. I'm a failure. I wish I was never born!

CLARENCE: But that's abortion! Well. OK, tell you what. [He snaps his fingers.] You've got your wish. From now on, George W. Bush was never born!
Read the rest

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Signing Tomorrow


Posting has been sparse since I got my new computer -- the scanner still isn't hooked up yet. But I wanted to mention that I'll be signing EARTHLIGHT, my Tokyopop original graphic novel, this Wednesday, November 15th, at Jim Hanley's Universe in New York City, 33 4 West 33rd Street (around the corner from the Empire State Building), from 6:00 to 8:00 PM. Also signing: J. Torres, Matt Manning, and Chuck Satterlee. More info at the link in the title.

Come on out and let me hear a good Monster Force howl.

I'll be back soon with a stupid Bizarro joke. Promise.


My earlier entry Tell Me Again About Your Fascinating New Blog sounds sarcastic and I didn't mean it that way. I probably shouldn't have used the word fascinating. Come forward and plug your mystery blog without fear, mystery blogger! (Wait, that sounded a little bitchy too. Oh my God, I can't turn it off!)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Links Of Fury

COMIC COMES TO LIFE, HASSLES THE MAN: V "visited security check points at the White House, the main Treasury, IRS and Justice Department Buildings and the Capitol... to deliver the People’s Petitions for Redress of Grievances relating to the Government’s violations of the war powers, tax, privacy and money clauses of the Constitution." [Thanks losthawk!]

SOUNDS OF SANTORUM: Valued commenter Bubba G. Russo sent in loser Rick Santorum's iPod playlist:
It's Over- Boz Scaggs
Blue Christmas- Elvis Presley
Everything I Have is Blue- Smithereens
Blue Hotel- Chris Isaak
Minority/ Good Riddance(Time Of Your Life)/American Idiot- Green Day
Left For Dead- Crazy Horse
He's Gone- Grateful Dead
I Got The News- Steely Dan
So Lonely- The Police
Gone For Good- The Shins
Serves You Right To Suffer- John Lee Hooker
Since You've Been Gone- Rainbow
There's Never Been Any Reason- Head East
This has to be a depressing time for Santorum, so he should probably confine his listening to...

POZ, OR POSITIVE MUSIC, i.e. "music of any style that conveys positive or constructive messages," an upsetting new non-trend I found on...

THE ODIOUS "GOOD NEWS" SITE by former CNN teleprompter reader and presumed Limbaugh fellater Daryn Kagan, which launched, fittingly, on...

John Layman's birthday!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Tell Me Again About Your Fascinating New Blog

A couple of weeks ago, one of you fine frequent commenters sent me an e-mail hinting that I might want to use this space to plug your fascinating new blog. And I do. But in the meantime your email vanished from my inbox and I forgot which one of you wrote to me and what your new blog is about. All I have left is this nagging feeling that once again I've disappointed somebody somewhere. So please send me another email and I'll plug away.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Don & Out

rumsfeld-annoyedHart Seely mourns the loss of his meal ticke-- uh, great subject, Donald Rumsfeld, in today's Los Angeles Times.


Seely's Rummy book

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Dennis The Menace Meets Fight Club

Dennis Meets Fight Club
More here, via Monkeyfilter.

Gates Of Hell

Former CIA analyst Ray McGovern writes about Rummy's replacement, Robert Gates:

Unless Gates’ years outside the Beltway have wrought major behavioral change, Gates will bend to the wishes of Cheney and Bush and avoid taking stands on principle... Those of us who had a front-row seat to watch Gates’ handling of substantive intelligence can hardly forget the manner in which he cooked it to the recipe of whomever he reported to.
The Cheney-Gates Cabal

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Not Pictured: Uncle Fester Santorum

Via Slog

Happy Retirement, Rummy

There are few things that bring satisfaction,
Like joy for a job that's complete.
When you look up and see that it's finished
And you get up and stand on your feet.

You look over the task that you've worked on,
And reflect on the struggles it held
You feel like an axe-wielding woodsman,
Staring at the great tree he just felled.

It must be that way on completion
Of a grand and substantial career.
You can look back at so many victories,
Spanning over so many long years.

Think of all of the times you succeeded,
In making a sale you thought lost.
And how much it made your pride soar,
When you gave the good news to your boss.

It was from your good example
That I took leave of some of my fear
And entered the wide world of selling
Which has proved to be a great career!

I'm inspired to know of your endurance
Keeping at this for thirty three years
Your persona must be quite magnetic
To get through to so many ears!

In some ways this event is prophetic
A harbinger of things to come
Though if I managed to reach that point too
I might get there feeling very numb!

Our company loses a weapon
Against which there is no sure defense
For when you work your magic upon them
They give up all their dollars and cents!

Companies can create the best products
And at everything else be quite grand
But without a great sales force behind them
They might just as well sit on their hands!

So we're firm in our hearty acceptance
Of all those things you've seen, been and done
And now that your work days are past you
It's time to get out and have some fun!

We expect to hear from Ben and Jerry
And those folks at the Haagen Daz works
For they've heard that you will be retiring
And think ice cream sales will see a big spurt!

No doubt Las Vegas people are happy
That your time for gaming will increase
And the golf course is likewise excited
Thinking that your duffing will not cease!

But unlike them we're all feeling sorry
That we'll see you much less than before
But you'll be in our thoughts very often
You're a person that's hard to ignore!

Wishing you all the best!

Happy Retirement!



Tuesday, November 07, 2006

News From Home

And in Syracuse, New York Democrats denounced a Republican member of the Common Council for trying to deter people from voting for Dan Maffei, a Democrat challenging Republican Rep. Jim Walsh.

“Ryan McMahon, a Republican on the Common Council, showed up wearing a Maffei sticker in the polling place and started trying to convince people coming into vote that they were at the wrong polling place," said an email from the New York State Democrats.
GOP and Dems Trade Vote Fraud Charges
Chicago Tribune

I Question The Timing

Clearly, another attempt to influence the election.

5 Good Reasons to Vote Today ... a letter from Michael Moore

5 Good Reasons to Vote Today

1. IT'S A NATIONAL REFERENDUM. Although candidates' names will be on the ballot today, this election is NOT about this candidate or that candidate. Make no mistake about it: This election is nothing less than a National Referendum on George W. Bush and his War. Don't waste your time trying to learn about who the schlump is that's running for office. You know they're all pretty much the same, a few are better than others, but... please. They is who they is. THIS election is not about them. It's a simple up or down vote on staying the course.

To vote in favor of the war, vote for the Republican. To vote against the war, vote for the Democrat. As crazy as it sounds, even if the Republican is against the war, or the Democrat is for it, it doesn't matter. All that will matter by midnight tonight is the math on the big tote board. Did America say YES to Bush or NO to Bush? The ONLY way they're going to add it up is by counting the number of votes under the big D and the big R. The only way to take a stand against Bush today is to vote for the Dems on the ballot.

2. IN ORDER TO CATCH THE REPUBLICANS STEALING YOUR VOTE, YOU FIRST HAVE TO VOTE. There are huge and valid concerns about the new electronic voting machines that must be addressed. It is far too easy to use new technology to rig the vote. But if your fear of that leads you to decide that you shouldn't bother voting, well, then, I guess they've succeeded in snuffing out your voice without having to rig the machine. Make them break the law if they want to win. Vote. We'll catch them if they do. I promise.

3. WITH THE DEMOCRATS IN POWER IN THE HOUSE AND/OR SENATE, WE CAN GO AFTER THEM! These spineless Democrats who enabled Bush to start this war and funded it ever since are due for a shellacking from all of us. For nearly 6 years, they've hidden behind the cop-out of, "Hey, we're the minority, we have no power." As of tomorrow, hopefully, they will have no mask to hide behind. And it will be up to us to go after them.

4. I'LL PUT YOU ON MY WEBSITE. That's right. You can appear on my home page and be seen by millions later today. All you need to do is bring a broom when you go to vote. The broom is our mascot today because we're going to sweep the crooks and the warmongers outta office. Take a picture of yourself holding a broom outside your polling place, e-mail it to me, and I'll put as many of you as I can up on the home page of my website. People all around the world will see you! Government files with your name on them will be initiated! What better way to celebrate this historic day?!

And the final reason to vote today...

5. 2,836 + 655,000. Each one of them, American and Iraqi, are no longer with us because of the decision by one man to start a war. Each one of them represented a precious, God-given life that no man had the right to take away. Each one of them had a mother and father, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, friends and loved ones, little boys and little girls. It's mad, my friends, utterly mad, this senseless loss of human life.

So, do it for them. Call up whoever you know and tell them to meet you at the polls. And tell them to bring a broom, real or imaginary, with a big D on it. It's the only true American thing to do.

See ya at the victory party tonight!

Michael Moore

P.S. Forward this to all your friends. Today is the day.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Rats Desert


Signs of desperation:

The neocons are turning on Bush and Rumsfeld. Apparently Cheney is still untouchable. Note the complete lack of ideological reconsideration on anyone's part. Invading Iraq still would have been a wonderful idea if only Bush hadn't been incompetent, and surrounded himself with those weak, horrible bitches instead of real men.

Even more than the Abramoff machine, these dangerous, arrogant men must be driven out of power. They persist in their radical ideological approach to American politics despite any evidence that comes to them from the outside world. And they believe it's their right to become rich through whatever means as they do so...because they are the true American elite. The good news: There can't be more than a dozen or so truly committed ones...and some of them are as stupid as Douglas Feith. The bad news: They're still deeply entrenched.

The work starts tomorrow. Vote Democratic.


For more on the neocons, see the fascinating documentary -- unaired in the US -- THE POWER OF NIGHTMARES. Well worth hunting down and downloading via BitTorrent, etc.

Photo nicked from here. No political affiliation is implied.


Update: Awww...they're upset that Vanity Fair ran their comments early and "out of context." Minor payback for cynically screwing up the entire world, I'd say. And isn't "Vanity Unfair" a clever title?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Has This Ever Happened Before?

• One of the US's leading evangelical ministers admits to buying methampetamines, repeatedly, for his own use, but says he didn't use them; and went to a gay hooker, for a massage, but never had sex with him. (My wife pointed out that, if you watch the video clip, you can see the "tell" when Haggard has to answer the sex question. His eyes do something kind of horrible to watch, like when Clinton was asked on-camera about Monica and the cigar.)

• As part of a propaganda attempt to retroactively justify the Iraq War, the administration unwittingly posts instructions for building an atomic bomb on a government website. In Arabic.

And now...

A joint editorial in the Army Times, Air Force Times, Navy Times and Marine Corps Times demands the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld, the sitting secretary of defense.

You know, the political corruption, the Abramoff scandals, the Iraq chaos, I expected all of that. But where's all this crazy GOP sex stuff coming from all of a sudden? It shows a lot about the lies their leaders tell them.

Thanks to Digby.

Naked Man Arrested for Concealed Weapon

Friday, November 03, 2006

Cut & Run? Or Stay The Course?

TRADE: A-Rod’s continued failure to deliver in the clutch is diverting critical resources and dividing our team. He must go. We need to move on, now!

KEEP: Trading A-Rod would lead to a disaster in the American League East. It would embolden other teams and threaten future Yankee clubs. To cut and run is not an option.
New York Times Op-Ed by Seely and me.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006