SUPERFRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FORCE HEREBY ELECTMARK WAID TO MEMBERSHIP FOR LIFE--WITH ALL PRIVILEGES AND GRATUITIES INCLUDING THE WEARING OF THE SIGNAL DEVICE AND POSESSION OF THE GOLDEN KEY WHICH PERMITS ENTRY INTO THE WERE-CAVE, ITS LIBRARY AND SOUVENIR ROOMS. IT IS HEREBY FURTHER RESOLVED AND ACTED UPON THAT...MARK WAID SHALL RECEIVE A SPECIAL COMMENDATION FOR HIS EXPERT ASSISTANCE IN THE CASE WE HAVE ENTITLED ON OUR SCROLLS..."THE GRIM AND THE GRITTY!"
MP3s of Bob Dylan's XM Radio show. They take a little patience to download, but they're worth it... Transcript of Keith Olbermann's stirring rebuttal to Rumsfeld... During an appearance with Laura Bush, a US Senator says terrorists "drive taxi cabs in the daytime and kill at night"... Pa Kent dies.
AUGUST 8, 2006: Ned Lamont defeats longtime incumbent Senator Joe Lieberman in tight Connecticut Democratic primary, striking a blow to the so-called “Bush agenda” and to the appeasement politics of Lieberman and the Democratic Leadership Council.
AUGUST 10, 2006: Pakistan arrests the brother of a terrorist suspect, forcing a British operation to prematurely close on a terror investigation.* In “response,” U.S. officials tighten up security at airports nationwide, banning deadly Clairol products from carry-on luggage.
RESULT: No more news coverage of Ned Lamont.
PROBLEM/SOLUTION RESPONSE TIME: approx. 2 days.
AUGUST 17, 2006: President Bush is ordered to cease the NSA wiretapping program by a federal judge, who declares it unconstitutional. From the judge’s statement: "It was never the intent of the (constitutional) framers to give the president such unfettered control, particularly when his actions blatantly disregard the parameters clearly enumerated in the Bill of Rights.”
AUGUST 17, 2006: American expat schoolteacher and clear looney tune Mark Karr is arrested in Bangkok for the 10-year-old murder of JonBenet Ramsey. Karr is inexplicably extradited to the U.S. in custody of the Department of Homeland Security, which has no jurisidiction over ordinary domestic murder cases.
RESULT: No more news coverage of NSA wiretap judgment.
PROBLEM/SOLUTION RESPONSE TIME: less than three hours.
* There’s some evidence that American officials were trying to force the British to make the arrests the preceding week -- which would have driven the Lieberman/Lamont race off the radar before the election. But clearly, as the President said this week in New Orleans, “a government…fell short of its responsibilities.”
The laughter has definitely gone out of Joe Piscopo's marriage now that the former "Saturday Night Live" star and wife Kimberly are divorcing.Piscopo Split Gets Ugly, New York Daily News
A Hunterdon County (N.J.) Family Court judge issued temporary restraining orders to both spouses on Monday after they each alleged domestic abuse.
...[W]ages and salaries now make up the lowest share of the nation’s gross domestic product since the government began recording the data in 1947, while corporate profits have climbed to their highest share since the 1960’s. UBS, the investment bank, recently described the current period as “the golden era of profitability.”Productivity up, wages down [NY Times link]
Somebody on one of the comments threads asked, “Who the fuck is Stuart Moore?” I’m always happy to turn a rude but understandable question into an opportunity for shameless self-promotion -- and since my grandmother always said, “Say it with hyperlinks,” here we go:
I’m primarily a comic book writer. I write FIRESTORM monthly for DC Comics. Young Jason Rusch has all the power in the universe -- and a family life straight from hell. You can read up on the character here , and discuss the book here and here .
I’ve written a variety of other material for DC recently, including LEGION OF SUPERHEROES, JLA ADVENTURES, and a four-part arc of JSA CLASSIFIED featuring the immortal villain Vandal Savage. I have a two-part BATMAN story in the works, too.
In November, Marvel will publish my PUNISHER X-MAS SPECIAL . It’s called “The List” -- the Punisher’s “naughty” list, that is. Probably the darkest, most nihilistic thing I’ve written. Fun!
October sees the start of EARTHLIGHT , a series of graphic novels from Tokyopop. This is an intense high school drama set on Earth’s first moon colony, with a nasty twist to volume 1. Tokyopop has already picked up volume 2; I’ve recently completed the script. You can read the first chapter online here .
I’m also writing STARGATE ATLANTIS comics for Avatar Press. The first issue of WRAITHFALL, our initial three-part miniseries, is on sale now. Driven by guilt, Major Sheppard endangers an entire alien race in his quest to wipe out the energy-vampires called the Wraith. Not just your average tie-in comic -- I was given remarkable freedom here, and I’m very proud of the results.
I also write prose. Games Workshop will publish REALITY BITES , my second Dark Future novel, in October (U.K.)/November (U.S.). In this one, freelance lawman Batton MacKay follows the trail of a creature called the Chimera Dentata to a bizarre reality show that used to be the country of Paraguay. Near-future satirical action-adventure.
The first MacKay novel, AMERICAN MEAT , is available now.
And I have a novella called “Chaotic Response” in CONSTELLATIONS , Pocket Books’s 40th anniversary Star Trek anthology. Kirk must rescue Spock from a trap within the Vulcan’s own mind, while the ship faces a deadly Klingon barrage. I tried to write a real classic Kirk/Spock/McCoy story here, and I think it came out pretty well. That’ll be out in September.
I’ve also been a book editor, a kitchen worker, a recreation counselor, an award-winning comics editor, and the nighttime manager of the Lawrenceville, N.J. Woolworth's curtain department.
So that’s who the fuck Stuart Moore is! Right now, anyway. Next month I’ll probably be someone else.
Most of this volume is written by Don McGregor, Marv Wolfman, and Chris Claremont, with some pinch-hitting by Bill Mantlo. Here are a few sample Luke Lines:
"CHRISTMAS! The walls are turnin' to MOLASSES! Which means CHEMISTRO'S gotta be here!"
"I remember somethin' REED RICHARDS told me when I was in the FF -- 'bout how water SHORTS OUT 'lectricity."
"That CHECKS IT, man! You been doin' a lot of heavy TALKIN', but all I dig is the POWER you been THROWIN' AROUND. Now maybe I HAVE been JIVED, like you been sayin' -- but YOU threw the FIRST PUNCH, Jack!"
And the chillingly prescient:
"Privacy? What's THAT, Noah? Didn't they pass an amendment AGAINST THAT or somethin'?"
Of course, Luke doesn't have a monopoly on slang in this book. Check out this random subway motorman from the story "Big Brother Wants You...Dead!":
"SWEET SAINTED MOTHER O'MERCY! Y'blasted MacGUFFIN! There's NAE WAY I can be STOPPIN' this thingy in TIME! NAE WAY, MAN!"
Cage manages to avoid the rampaging subway train, after which the pimp-like character C.C. reports in: "Our Man CAGE is a-LIVE an' JIVIN'!"
And we wouldn't have it any other way. Sweet Sister!
The morning's e-mail brings this from Seely, author of Pieces Of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry Of Donald Rumsfeld:
I'm calling Rummy out, mano a nano, in today's LA Times.And so he does.
