Monday, April 04, 2005

Hey. I'm "Tom."

The College of Cardinals today elected me, U.S. Congressman Dave Weldon, M.D. (R - FL), to assume the late Pontiff Carol Woitjlwkwblklka's secret role as comic book writer/SUPERFRANKENSTEIN blogger "Tom Peyer." That doesn't make me Pope (yet!); nonetheless, my staff and I promise you many hours of top-flight entertainment and spiritual uplift.

As far as anyone is concerned, I am not only the real "Tom Peyer," I am the only "Tom Peyer" ever. Yet, I am not and never was "Tom Peyer." Understand? We'll just proceed from this point as if all of those things were true. If it gets too confusing, just keep your mouth shut; I'll do the talking.

And let us never speak of this again.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"As far as anyone is concerned, I am not only the real "Tom Peyer," I am the only "Tom Peyer" ever. yet, I am not and never was "Tom Peyer." Understand? We'll just proceed from this point as if all of those things were true"

OK Mr Byrne....

FREE THE DOOM PATROL!!!!!

Stang said...

Anonymous,

I said, let us never speak of this again.

El Duque,

You treat the death of a Pope as if someone who--what's your slang term?--"bungles" it will never get another chance. You and I have buried four popes, old friend, and odds are we'll get a fifth.