Monday, April 25, 2005

Unborn To Be Wild


An e-mail from Soldier Of Superfrankenstein Goodrich hips us to Miss Poppy ("Spend your TRUE Christian Dollars at, where even your MONEY is saved!"), purveyor of a range of products that includes Unborn Baby Ornament - US Troop Model:
Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?

Plastic replica of an 11-12 week old fetus, 3" long, holding a firearm in its precious little hand, with an assortment of other military paraphernalia, encased in a translucent plastic ornament, with a patriotic yellow ribbon on top. Includes a metal ornament hanger. If only a womb were this safe, attractive and reasonably priced!
Miss Poppy links to the infamous Landover Baptist Church "Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome," which in turn links to the notorious ("Sponsoring Partner: God Himself"). The White House stuff is pretty clear, but I've seen people argue over whether the Landover Baptists are kidding or not. Which means they're pretty funny. They're busy, too; you can try to click through all of their products and parodies, but you'll never make it.

A few more: their Girls' Abstinence Blog; their Boys' Abstinence Blog; and, non-Landoverly speaking, another good abstinence parody and the head-scratching Ex-Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club. That last one looks kind of like a Landover site but, if it's meant to be funny, it's the dryest shit you've ever seen. And if it isn't, well, Andy Warhol had it right when he said, "The best parody is the thing itself." It was spotted by High-Ranking Soldier Of Superfrankenstein Chadwick.


Goody said...

Please note that the same site that sells fetus ornaments also sells fake mustaches and Amish air freshener. What that means, I do not know. But I am afraid for the future.

El Duque said...


Do they have tie-ins with sports-franchises? I'd love an unborn baby New York Giant on my tree next Christmas, and Boston fans surely would flock to unborn baby Red Socks.

This could be the next thing!

Superfrankenstein said...

El Duque,

What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a relief pitcher getting the Save for the Yankees in Game Four last year?

SFChick74 said...

What's really frightening, is that it took me a minute or two to realize that the Landover Baptist thing is a parody. Hilarious.