America Crowns Idol
HOLLYWOOD — Henry Kissinger, the silver haired diplomat from Fürth, Germany, has been crowned the new American Idol.
Asked if he had anything to say to America, Kissinger gave a shout-out to his most dedicated fans, yelling "War Patrol!"
Runner-up Ron Silver embraced Kissinger and thanked his for an Idol experience he called "a dream come true."
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Kissinger and Silver also beat out Condaleeza "Condi" Rice, who lip synched a duet with "Dashing" Don Rumsfeld of Lynrd Skynrd's "Don't Ask Me No Questions (And I Won't Tell You No Lies)." In a related story, a frustrated Ashley Simpson, ruled ineligible for the contest, could not be reached for comment. "Look what it did to my career, and they take the bronze? There is no justice, at least not since since Alberto Gonzales became AG."
More's the pity.
AP/UPI
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