Monday, May 29, 2006

Rated X

laststand3
God's Guide To The Hot Parts--the internet ministry that fights Hollywood filth by describing it and describing it until we just have to rub up against something or explode--reviewed X-Men III and found these, uh, flaws [UPDATE: there might be SPOILERS]:

Wanton Violence/Crime (W)

* battle violence, repeatedly, some quite graphic, some massive
* assault
* child in self-mutilation
* "Kill me!"
* long sequences of fighting with deaths, some quite graphic, some massive
* threat to commit mass murder
* impalement injuries, repeatedly, some quite graphic
* attempts to kill, many
* blade killing, several
* gore
* incitement to revolt
* orders to kill, including to kill a child
* kidnapping, repeatedly
* action violence of varying intensities, repeatedly
* attempted murder
* body decimation gore, repeatedly


Impudence/Hate (I)

* seven uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary
* a child delaying compliance with father's instructions long enough to hide what he was doing
* facial piercing, repeatedly, each instance associated with "bad guys"
* child threatening to kill adult
* "Don't worry. We won't get caught"
* massive tattoos, repeatedly, each instance associated with "bad guys"


Sexual Immorality (S)

* female nudity, frequent, many
* open mouth kissing, repeatedly
* sexual innuendo
* woman placing her legs around a man's pelvis
* making out frenzy
* man on a woman ostensibly for intercourse
* inappropriate touch
* woman undoing man's belt and waist snap then zipper with her powers
* dressing to maximize the female form and/or skin exposure, repeatedly
* homosexual innuendo, repeatedly
* excess cleavage/breast exposure, repeatedly
* crotch kick
* vulgarity by a child


Drugs/Alcohol (D)

* smoking, repeatedly
* multiple drug injections, most forced


Offense to God (O)

* unnatural/unholy powers to control others and things, including weather, frequent and of varying intensities
* unholy transformation/shape shifting, repeatedly
* unholy resurrection
* pro-evolution
* demonic appearance, repeatedly
* unholy healing, many
* calling righteousness evil [Isa. 5:20]


Murder/Suicide (M)

* multiple murders by unholy power, several quite graphic
* murder by incineration, three times
* murder by impalement
* "mercy killing" by blade to kill a killer at her request
We haven't checked in on The Uncanny Hot Parts Guy in a while; great to see he hasn't changed a bit!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the midst of all these descriptions of extreme violence and presumably inappropriate sexuality, my favorite dire warning had to be this one:
* a child delaying compliance with father's instructions long enough to hide what he was doing*

Oh, the utter horror, the depravity, the SHAME!

Stang said...

Mary,

I don't understand a thing you've said. Does that mean we're friends?

I hope so.

Stang said...

Sorry, Bad Dan. Spoiler warning added. Although, I thought the biggest spoiler was "man on a woman ostensibly for intercourse!"

Anonymous said...

I love how he comes down on the side of the mutant-haters. Demonic appearance... ungodly powers... disobeying the wishes of a father who just wants to hack off your ungodly bits... how can normal homo sapiens put up with this stuff?

Mark W. Hale said...

Be sure to check out my band "Making Out Frenzy" on MySpace.