SOME LIKE IT HOT

God's Guide To The Hot Parts--the web ministry that fights Hollywood smut with prurient gibberish--has finally posted some licentious new movie reviews. Some people say The Hot Parts Guy has a dirty mind. I don't know. But if you have a dirty mind, here are his latest (I paraphrase:) recommendations. If your hot parts respond to (I quote:)

• camera angle to force viewer on how short a skirt was

• "I don't care what they do to me" attitude

and

• "gay" kiss

you'll want to run at top speed to Racy--er, Racing Stripes! But if you're more likely to be turned on by

• adult male baring his posterior before surprise party guests, including his daughters, and other kids

• open mouth kissing

and

• below navel skin - male, in refrigerator pinup photos

then what are you sitting alone for? Get In Good Company! If your "final frontier" looks more like

• offer of sex (by "Commander Uhura" no less!)

• crotch hit and kick

and

• inappropriate touch of man by woman (also by "Commander Uhura" no less)

beam yourself over to Are We There Yet? at Warp Factor Nine! Finally, if you find satisfaction in

• man and woman making out with display of mounting ecstasy

• adult male showing atypical interest in girl child

and

• taking prescription drugs with alcohol

you're looking for Hide And Seek!

On behalf of perverts, peepers, pill-poppers, Trekkies and spaced-out swingers of all stripe, thank you, Hot Parts Guy, and keep up the sexy work!