Saturday, March 05, 2005

Altar Ego

Purgatory. The Phantom Zone.

Water => Wine. Coal => Diamonds.

The Anti-Christ. Bizarro.
The list continues at Jesus Vs. Superman by Rantz. It'll take you about 20 seconds to read, and there are some pretty good ones.

Meanwhile, Superman As Jesus Christ chatters on and on about The Eight Christic Traits of Superman and Twenty Superman-Jesus Parallels:
8.0 Divine Testiness: The Darker Side of Light: Gentle Jesus could turn into a holy vandal and violently drive out moneychangers from God’s house (John 2:15). He also used holy invectives like: “O generation of vipers” (Matt. 3:7), “ye serpents, ye generation of vipers” (Matt. 23:33) and “hypocrites!” (Matt. 23:13). Similarly, Clark Kent could turn into Superman and battle all manner of evil with as much brutish force as needed. While disrespectfully manhandling the greedy Lex Luthor and violently throwing him around his subterranean lair, he called him a “warped brain,” a “sick twisted
Oh, never mind. Better you should read the shorter and crazier Is Jesus An Alien? Here's a taste:
No-one knows what happened when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by the Devil upon being baptised. But we know that Clarke Kent went to the arctic to discover his destiny and his powers and his duty to truth, Justice, and the American Way. And just as the combination of the Earth's atmosphere and Superman's genes gave him superhuman strength, the same could be true with regards to Jesus' healing powers.
Of course, the connection was made a long time ago in Godspell. I was delighted to learn that some fundamentalist is still pissed about its "blasphemy":
Godspell blasphemously portrayed "Jesus" as a "afro-haired, face-painted-clown", clad in a Superman shirt!
Godspell-haters might be happier with songwriters outside musical theater who have tackled the mind-blowing Superman/Jesus concept. They do exist, and they seem to side with the Son of Man against the Man of Steel. Here's a lyric by BJ Sintay:
Superman seems like a really cool guy
But he couldn’t save the world in just one night
Jesus seemed liked an insignificant guy
But he went and died to save everyone in a single night
Now put your hands together for Pillar:
It's time for you to understand
Jesus Christ the Original Superman
up up and away He's saving souls in a new way
Just like Superman was there He's always there to save the day
Of course, none of this Jesus/Superman talk would add up to anything unless money changed hands. Here's a Jesus, The Original Superman T-Shirt for only $16.99!


Pete Milan said...

Might wanna check this out: The BBC asks if Superman is Jewish.

El Duque said...


Nice try. But your methodology is flawed.

If Jesus was Superman, why didn't he simply use his heat vision to melt the spikes in his wrist and free himself from the cross?

El Duque said...



THE SPIKES WERE KRYPTONITE! And if the crown of thorns was red kryptonite, it could have affected Jesus' mind!

Oh, shit.