"Is this a Papal audience or an oil painting?"
But for Matt Drudge's "outrage" (and link!), I never would have seen Matt Taibbi's
The 52 Funniest Things About The Upcoming Death of The Pope from this week's New York Press. You either take stuff like this seriously, or you don't, or you pretend to me mad while you pass it around it to as many people as you can. I think I'll pretend to be mad. GRRRR!
[Update: maybe Drudge knew what he was doing. He apparently sent the papal poo-pooers so much traffic that their site has gone down.] [Double-Update: It's back.]
Here are a few of the funnier Funniest Things:
45.Pope departs Earth at a time when Hitch is top-grossing movie in the world.A lot of the rest of them fall along the lines of "52.Pope pisses himself just before the end; gets all over nurse."
32.Priest who administers last rites to Pope excitedly calls mother afterward to tell her how well it went.
30.Michael Jackson too broke to buy Pope's bones.
28.Bears everywhere shitting in woods.
27.We'll never get to hear his hilarious post-tracheotomy rendition of "Come on Eileen."
24.Pope spends last hours surrounded by cardinals who stand glaring at him with folded arms, silently reminding him of the political necessity of clinging to life.
22.Mankind scrambles to choose new leader of inflexible, sexually morbid institutional anachronism; heretofore anonymous bureaucrat will instantly be celebrated as world's holiest man as he travels to AIDS-stricken Africa to denounce the use of condoms.
20.Hall and Oates mulling comeback.
16.NBC Nightly News intern pulls wrong tape from drawer full of long-ago archived video obits; world thinks Boris Yeltsin has died, wonders why Brian Williams is calling him an "inspirational spiritual leader."
15.Williams, after broadcast: "Who's Boris Yeltsin?"
14.Matt Lauer to Williams: "He wrote the Contract for America."
9.Bush on the tragic event: "Our thoughts and prayers go out to this great man and all of his many children."
8.Bush continued: "He touched all of us in places no one else could reach."
Move over, Drudge: New York Daily News gossip hound Lloyd Grove is boarding the Outrage Express. An old fashioned journalist, Grove can't posts links to the Pope joke, but he can get what Drudge's ancestors used to call "quotes."
• Sen. Chuck Schumer: "This is the most disgusting thing I've seen in 30 years of public life."Tell you what... until the New York Press site comes back [and stays back], I'll paste the whole thing into the Comments, just so we can all pretend to be angry.
• Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: "Pope John Paul is one of the world's strongest forces for peace and understanding at a time when discord and rancor threaten every nation. It is outrageously offensive to make light of his physical suffering, which he has borne with such strength, dignity and grace."
• A spokesman for Mayor Bloomberg: "As disgusting as this is, it's sadly par for the course for this publication."
• Rep. Anthony Weiner: "All I can tell you is that this is outrageous and the New York Press is way overpriced. Everyone has a right to free speech, but I hope New Yorkers exercise their right to take as many of these rags as they can and put them in the trash."
• Former Bronx Borough President Freddy Ferrer: "It's juvenile and not funny. For a lot of New Yorkers, the Pope embodies beliefs that are important to us, and we all wish him a speedy recovery."
• Anti-Defamation League President Abraham Foxman: "It crosses the line of decency. This is a man who has devoted his life to love and compassion and reconciliation. To treat him in such gross manner is so ugly."
• Polish-American Congress official Frank Milewski: "I would say it's hate speech - a most extreme example of hate speech."