John: I don't know ... Ethel was a stripper working a mercenary bar in Central America, maybe an opium den/whorehouse in the Phillipines. Marrying Fred was her ticket out and to respectability. Hence her street smarts and sass.

Tyrone: (beat) Are you pitching the "Ethel Mertz Working a Donkey Show in Tijuana" backstory?

Kung Fu Monkey improves I Love Lucy, threatens fanfic.