Thursday, August 24, 2006

Logic Is Little Tweeting Bird

I promise I’ll post something political soon so the wingnut commentators can hurry up and get busy calling me gay. (Isn’t that funny?) But here’s another weird snippet from life first:

I like to warm up my brain in the morning by doing Logic Problems -- you know, the weird things with the clues and the charts that you find in brainier magazine outlets, crowding those mouth-breathing Word Searches off the racks. Now, I’m well aware that I’m probably the only human under age eighty -- and male -- with a Logic Problem habit. And most of the puzzles are written with that audience in mind: stories about shopping, medieval ladies, or weird throwbacks to ‘50s America.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed a strange evolution -- one that leads me to believe a new crop of writers have been enlisted to craft these anachronistic enigmas. Penny Press has a recurring series of problems involving spaceships and aliens with names like Bleeb and Coomz. But that didn’t prepare me for the last, and hence hardest, puzzle in the latest issue -- which begins like this:

“After visiting comics conventions far and wide with little success, ten collectors (including Wilfredo) turned to the Internet in order to complete their comics collections. Each person was missing a different number of issues (2 through 11) of a different comic (five of which -- The Avengers, Elektra, Fantastic Four, The Punisher, and Thunderbolts -- are published by Marvel Comics; and five of which -- Hellblazer, The Invisibles, Preacher, The Sandman, and Transmetropolitan -- are published by Vertigo Comics)…”

Not only are some of these titles pretty obscure to the general public -- Thunderbolts? -- but as an editor, I acquired three of these comics for original publication, and edited three others as well. Clearly, this puzzle was written just for me. Sadly, the editorial history of the comics wasn’t helpful in solving the puzzle -- though I did manage to solve it, finally, with a minimum of cheating.

But now I strongly suspect that Penny Press’s Logic Puzzles are being written by a hardcore comics fan -- maybe even a SuperFrankenstein reader. Anybody out there want to fess up?

While we’re waiting, here’s another clue that won’t help you solve the puzzle. THE PUNISHER XMAS SPECIAL, written by me, will go on sale November 29th. The solicitation is here .


Superfrankenstein said...

So what's the fuckin' question? Does it have to do with Preacher vs. the Thunderbolts? Because Preacher could kill them bare-handed without working up a sweat.

Dorian said...

Don't feel alone Stuart, I've been told several times that the fact that I do logic problems for fun makes me "weird."

Ben Jones said...

Can you post the rest of the question? I want to try to figure it out.

Superfrankenstein said...

I've already figured it out. Preacher kills Thunderbolts with wreath of pretty flowers... which smell bad!

Stuart Moore said...

Dorian: I don't mind being weird -- it was the sight of all those familiar titles that made me jump. But I'm glad to know I'm not the only one doing these things.

Ben: It's too long to post, unfortunately -- it's a complicated puzzle where you have to match up ten collectors with the number of back issues they bought, the price each one paid, how they paid for them (check, credit card, etc.), and the screen name of the seller. If you feel like hunting it down, it's the last puzzle in the Summer 2006 issue of WORLD-CLASS LOGIC PROBLEMS -- I usually buy it at Barnes & Noble. Look for the hideous radioactive-green cover.

Tom: Stop giving away secret Monster Force fighting strategies! We'll discuss this further at the weekly meeting, in the WereCave.

wingnut said...

You are gay.