Tuesday, January 18, 2005

A Cheap Trick To Get Me To Watch TV News

CBS President Les Moonves may replace Dan Rather with multiple anchors, and won't rule out Jon Stewart!

Asked twice, Moonves wouldn't rule out a role on the evening news for Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, whose 'The Daily Show' skewers politicians and the news media each night. Moonves is co-chief executive of Viacom, which owns both CBS and Comedy Central."
Lotsa Daily Show clips here.




El Duque said...


Whataya think about this: Rather's gone. He ain't comin' back. So the Eye trades Bobby Schieffer, Harry Smith and the fat Gumbel brother, I forget his first name, plus cash to NBC for Stone Phillips, straight up. Maybe NBC throws in a couple local anchors from the affiliates.

So they go with Stone Phillips. He'd clean Brian Williams' clock, Jane Pauley would fall apart, and the Peacock would never live it down. Schieffer would have a big year, change of scenery and all, and Harry Smith is Harry Smith. Say what you will about him, the man wins his time slot.

Well, whaddaya think?

Superfrankenstein said...

What's Phillips, 50? It's been a long time since Dateline blew up trucks. If CBS doesn't walk out of there with Lauer or Couric, the peacock picked their pocket.

El Duque said...


You must be watching Murphy Brown reruns. Lauer is a punk. He wins because he's surrounded by pros. You take away Al Roker, who is a lot more than Star Jones with a mancut, and Lauer would be nothing.

If I were the Peacock, I’d’ve offer Maria Shriver a multi-year deal, $20 million per, whatever she wants. I’d lock her up for 10 years, because one of these days, Roger Ailes over at FOX is gonna wave serious payola at her. You watch Ailes. He’ll make her the franchise, and you better believe the Peacock won’t be clucking over that one. Somebody’s gonna lose his job.

Superfrankenstein said...

Ailes thinks he can buy first place. But teleprompters are read between the commercials, not in some bank.

Hey, how about this longshot for Rather's spot:


I think he's a free agent.

El Duque said...


You’re out of line, Superfrankenstein.

First-off, when I’m thinking Geraldo, I'm thinking he peaked on ABC with Barbie Wall. Now, there's your anchor. Future Hall-of-Famer. She goes in first ballot. Firstoff, she’s got Emmys and a solid lifetime Neilsen. Secondoff, I don’t care how old she is: She still brings cheese. Last week, on The View, she’s firing 95-words-a-minute on the radar gun. Finally, you can’t overlook what a star like the Wallman brings to a news team. The young on-airs, they look up to her.

I'm still in shock over Danny Razz quitting. I don't care how old he is. Nobody does hurricanes better.

Superfrankenstein said...

This proves you're off in your own kandy-koated world, El Duque. Must be nice in la-la land, where gumdrops grow on taffy trees AND BARBARA WALTERS ISN'T ON THE JUICE.

She and you are the only two people in the world who are still in denial about this. How long do you think her record ratings will stand after she has to pee into a cup? Because that day is coming, El Duque, whether you admit it or not.

Can we go back to the CBS situation? Because the clock is ticking, and not the one that means 60 Minutes will be back after this laxative commercial. If I'm Moonves, I go after Couric and I offer cash, Steve Kroft and the chick on King Of Queens.

Anonymous said...

I really think CBS needs to go with someone who'll improve their credibility, like Carrot Top or Ted Kaczynski.