Thursday, January 20, 2005

Please, Mr. President

249_Bush_grimaceThis is it. The big day you've been dreading for so long. I know there'll be a lot of parties and a lot of booze flowing. And there's the major stress of the crowds and cameras, and of being the center of attention the whole time. But as impossible as it may seem to you now, sir, you can get through your Inauguration without alcohol. You already pulled it off once before, didn't you? Four years ago? And isn't the second time supposed to be easier? America needs you sober, Mr. President. Please.

Well... I guess I said my piece. Just remember, sir: I'll be watching.

And praying.

And drinking.


El Duque said...


Don't sweat George surviving the reinguaguration without booze. He can do it.

But it's a little known fact, outside of a few key Washington pros, that George can't last 12 hours without sex. The media won't touch this. Check him out with Laura on TV. It's embarrassing. I just hope Michael Powell isn't watching.

Superfrankenstein said...

And he can't have sex unless he's killed a man with his bare hands.

He's superstitious that way.

Or so I hear.

El Duque said...


"Killing a man with your bare hands" is old-fashioned slang for masturbation, right?

Is that what you mean?

Superfrankenstein said...

El Duq,

If by "masturbation" you mean "killing a man with your bare hands," yes. That's precisely what I mean.

El Duque said...


Let me get this straight. You're not getting confused with the female masturbatory act of "killing me softly with his song," right?

Superfrankenstein said...


You mean like "Strumming my pain with his fingers?"