Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Chris & Gwynnie Join 'Nuclear Club'

chris_gwynnieGwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have successfully enriched uranium for the first time, a landmark in their quest to develop nuclear fuel.

The Shakespeare In Love actress insisted, however, that the couple does not aim to develop nuclear weapons.

The enriched uranium is called Moses, after a song Coldplay crooner Chris wrote for Gwynnie in 2003. It contains the lyric: "Like Moses has power over sea, so you've got power over me."

In a nationally televised speech, Chris's dad Anthony told an audience of top military commanders and clerics, "She and Chris both think Moses is a beautiful name laden with meaning and, although neither of them are particularly religious, the song has a real significance for them."

The crowd broke into cheers of "God is great!" Some stood and thrust their fists in the air.

The elder Martin called on the West "not to cause an everlasting hatred in our hearts" by trying to force his family to abandon uranium enrichment.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan denounced the latest comments, saying they "continue to show that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are moving in the wrong direction."

8 comments:

Lone Conservative Voice Man said...

We must smoke them out of their holes. If they're not with us, they're with the terrorists. We will find them, and we will kill them.

Why must you lefties be so hateful? Align yourselves with love and charity, just like me and my trusty sidekick, spysmasher.

Lone Conservative Voice Man said...

I'm sorry, that should have read "why must you YOU FUCKING STARBUCKS SIPPING PIECES OF LIBERAL DOG SHIT be so hateful?"

Thank you, spysmasher, for keeping me fresh with your slick pop culture references! "Pinko" and "lefty" just don't convey the appropriate meaning anymore:)

Superfrankenstein said...

Welcome, Lone Conservative Voice Man. I'm looking forward to hearing you express The Rage Of The Uptrodden.

Do you live near spysmasher in Central Wisconsin?

popculturezod said...

Tom, you continue to amaze me. Where do you find this stuff?

spysmasher said...

Can we change the name of this site to "SPYSMASHER, featuring comments from Superfrankenstein"?

El Duque said...

How about "The O'Spysmasher Factor?"

El Duque said...

How about "The O'Spysmasher Factor?"

Hoosier X said...

How about "SPICE-MASHER and colmes"?