Friday, December 17, 2004

BATMAN QUITS JUSTICE LEAGUE

From a statement issued by the Dark Knight:

In the course of investigating the "Identity Crisis" case, I uncovered information that now leads me to question the immigration status of a person who was in my employ as a butler. It has also been brought to my attention that, for a period of time during such employment, required tax payments and related filings had not been made.
In a similar case, an article in Thursday's New York Times questioned whether Bernard Kerik's nanny problem was a lie all along:
"They never came around here with a nanny," said Sophie Borsuk, 55, the longtime landlady and downstairs neighbor of Mrs. Kerik's mother. "I never saw any nanny. This is the first time I heard about a nanny."
batman2As 9/11-identified confessions go, screwing an illegal immigrant out of a living wage does sound better than collecting bribes, doing errands for the mob, and cheating with two clueless girlfriends--one a subordinate--in a rent-free love-nest overlooking Ground Zero. And accepting the assignment to train Iraqi police, then treating it as a vacation to fill the time while his New Jersey pad was being renovated. And getting kicked out of Saudi Arabia for something to do with booze and "fraternizing." And whatever we hear about tomorrow.

Nothing new to report; just savoring the moment. Why do I like this story so much? Because Rudolph Giuliani showed his ward, Kerik, how to turn an identification in the public mind with 9/11 into buttloads of cash and immunity from criticism. It's perversely groovy to see them both shunned by a White House that turned 9/11 into buttloads of cash and immunity from criticism.

Update: It was all a misunderstanding. Alfred's here legally! Batman's back in the League!

3 comments:

El Duque said...

Superfrankenstein,

Batman should not be in the Justice League. Everybody knows this. To get into the Justice League, you need super powers.

I bet if you looked at the vetting documents, Batman lied about having super powers.

richard said...

Turns out that Batman didn't even have a butler... neighbours don't recall ever seeing any "elderly English gentleman" on or around the grounds. There is speculation that the resignation was put forward in this fashion to avoid any attention on the Dark Knight's apparent marriage to his one-time side-kick, Robin. Witnesses have come forward in Canada stating that they witnessed the caped crusader's very gay wedding.

Superfrankenstein said...

El Duque: You need powers to be in the Justice League? Since when? What about Green Arrow?