Tuesday, December 07, 2004

"The Prophetic Speedometer Of End-Time"

angelpaintingAs of yesterday's Rapture Index, The Occult is up due to a jump in the number of adult Pagans, but Liberalism is down since the beating it took in the US. These and 43 other indicators bring us in at a net change of +1 for a Rapture Index of 156. Let's check the chart to see what our score means:

Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts
You just pissed yourself, didn't you? Wait, there's a disclaimer:
The Rapture Index is by no means meant to predict the rapture
If, unlike me, you can't get enough of this stuff, keep checking the daily Rapture Ready News and John Rule's cartoons. (Via the Rapture Rations link in this Metafilter post.)


El Duque said...


You seem to think it's a big deal that Occult is ahead of Liberalism. Hell, anybody can beat Liberalism. Occult should pick on somebody its own size, like Kinkiness. Then we'd see who's its Daddy.

I wish this Rapture Index put manifestations of Bible prophesies up against each other, like Celebrity Death Match? I'd like to see Saddam take on Gamera. Saddam could have his weapons of mass destruction. And Gamera, the flying turtle, he'd have his shell. I'd go with Gamera.

Superfrankenstein said...

El Duque,

I hope your jokes keep you warm when you're left behind.