"The Prophetic Speedometer Of End-Time"

As of yesterday's Rapture Index, The Occult is up due to a jump in the number of adult Pagans, but Liberalism is down since the beating it took in the US. These and 43 other indicators bring us in at a net change of +1 for a Rapture Index of 156. Let's check the chart to see what our score means:

Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts

You just pissed yourself, didn't you? Wait, there's a disclaimer:

The Rapture Index is by no means meant to predict the rapture

If, unlike me, you can't get enough of this stuff, keep checking the daily Rapture Ready News and John Rule's cartoons. (Via the Rapture Rations link in this Metafilter post.)